Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
