Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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