So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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