Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We were destined to go to rehab together
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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