So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
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