i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Randomize
