Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
