just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
