Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
