Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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