Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
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