The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Everclear isn't food dammit
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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