ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
