Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
