Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
