Your tits are I can't wait for
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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