i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
