I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize