"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
