Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
