we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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