I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
