I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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