I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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