he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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