High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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