I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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