so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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