I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
whose parrot is this?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize