So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
