Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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