He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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