He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
