Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
