If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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