I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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