yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
