You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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