Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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