My friends, they love my intelligence
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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