I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
