No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
