In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
