What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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