You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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