I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
