your room smells of hookers.
And success
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
