he puts the penis in happiness.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
