Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
