Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I don't think brook has ever known best
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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