She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
