I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
