i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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