yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
