Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
