Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
