Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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